December 2011
18 posts
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The Dialogue I Will Have The Next Time I Hire A...
Me: Hi. So you can do [task X]
Contractor: Yes.
Me: You have no doubts.
Contractor: Of course not.
Me: And just to be clear, you are qualified and licensed to do all of the work.
Contractor: Yes.
Me: And you have an appropriate time window.
Contractor: Yes.
Me: And you speak the same language, fluently, as those in your employ and anyone you have to work with the make this happen.
Contractor: I do.
Me: Well, that sounds ideal. Couple more things...
Contractor: Okay...
Me: Do you do insane shit for no reason at all and then look totally bewildered when asked to explain it?
Contractor: Um...
Me: Are you subject to fits of destructive randomness during which you destroy the calm and peace of mind of those around you with self-immolatory behaviour apparently calculated to result in legal action and painful delays?
Contractor: Er...
Me: Just askin'.
Contractor: Basically, yeah.
Me: Then you are in no way hired, ever, you maniacal jackass. Thanks for coming in.
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“France intends to normalise its VAT rates on ‘books’ so that both P...”
– Phillip Jones at FutureBook.net.
Arcfinity: Announcing Arc: a new magazine about... →
arcfinity:
February 2012 will see the debut of Arc, a bold new digital publication from the makers of New Scientist. Arc will explore the future through cutting-edge science fiction and forward-looking essays by some of the world’s most celebrated authors – backed up with columns by thinkers and…
Veeeeeery eeeentersting :)
Amazon’s Jungle Logic →
“I FIRST heard of Amazon’s new “promotion” from my bookseller daughter, Emily, in an e-mail with the subject line “Can You Hear Me Screaming in Brooklyn?” According to a link Emily supplied, Amazon was encouraging customers to go into brick-and-mortar bookstores on Saturday, and use its price-check app (which allows shoppers in physical stores to see, by scanning a bar code, if they can get a...
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What debt goes where? →
The BBC’s hugely interesting and helpful clickable chart of which countries owe what and to whom. Cool as hell, and oddly reassuring.
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“As long as our political classes are locked in a culture of policy-based...”
– http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=417918#.Tqpy8r8bZEg.twitter
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My mother is a time traveller.
Me: where is this place?
Mum: it's where JS used to be.
Me: okay...
Mum: yep.
Me: isn't the place I'm going to called JS?
Mum: um.
Me: and didn't it just open?
Mum: might have done...
Me: you're from the future, aren't you?
Mum: no.
Me: you are, aren't you?
Mum: no.
Me: you're a time traveller from the future, pretending to be from Sevenoaks.
Mum: that's silly.
Me: you are.
Mum: don't be ridiculous
Me: I knew it.
Mum: I'm really not.
Me: who was president in 2051?
Mum: Gaspard.
Me: HAH!
Mum: Bugger.
